I tune into NPR’s 90.3 Ideastream every morning on my way into work. I know, big surprise, a recent Literature graduate from a liberal arts school listens to NPR. Regardless, as you may know, they give a Cleveland traffic update a few times each morning, which usually goes like this: Traffic is slow on east shore way. Traffic is at a standstill on the interbelt going into downtown. 77 north is backed up all the way to Brecksville. It reminds me that I’m lucky to only deal with little ol’ Macedonia, OH traffic.

What I always pay special attention to, though, is how many traffic accidents they report. It boggles my mind. They report at least three to five traffic accidents on Cleveland’s freeways alone every day, and usually in the same locations. When there aren’t any accidents, the DJ will say “No traffic accidents, yet.” He tries to maintain his radio-standard inflection, but he’s unsuccessful in masking his surprise.